RESEARCH_FILE
Vanessa K. Bohns
Cornell University
Known for:Research on the underestimation-of-compliance effect — how hard it is to say no, and how badly we predict others' yeses and our own
SEE THE PRACTICE
Turn a thought this research explains into one clear move.
THE THOUGHT
“If I disagree, they'll like me less”
YOUR RECORDED RESPONSE
“I can disagree and still be worth having here.”
ONE PRIVATE MOVE
Open a notes app or scrap of paper and write three tiny preferences you actually have right now—one for food, one for music, one for plans. Circle the one you would say out loud first in a low-stakes setting later.
Key findings
- 2008
In experimental and field studies, help seekers underestimated by as much as 50% the likelihood that others would agree to a direct request — because they attended to the instrumental costs of helping while underweighting the social costs of refusing. If you need help, just ask: Underestimating compliance with direct requests for help ↗
- 2016
Reviewing over a decade of studies, the underestimation-of-compliance effect is robust: targets of requests agree in part because refusing feels awkward and costly in the moment — the same discomfort that keeps chronic yes-sayers saying yes. (Mis)Understanding Our Influence Over Others: A Review of the Underestimation-of-Compliance Effect ↗