RESEARCH_FILE
Geraldine Downey
Columbia University
Known for:The rejection sensitivity model — how anxious expectations of rejection shape and can sabotage relationships
SEE THE PRACTICE
Turn a thought this research explains into one clear move.
THE THOUGHT
“Still single at my age means something's wrong with me”
YOUR RECORDED RESPONSE
“Single is a status. The 'something's wrong with me' explanation is a script I absorbed—not a finding.”
ONE PRIVATE MOVE
Write down three rejections from the past year and next to each one, write the actual reason the other person gave (or likely had). Then write what you added to it. Notice the gap. Keep it private.
Key findings
- 1996
Rejection sensitivity — anxiously expecting, readily perceiving, and overreacting to rejection — leads people to read intentional rejection into ambiguous behavior of new partners, and both rejection-sensitive people and their partners report lower relationship satisfaction. Implications of Rejection Sensitivity for Intimate Relationships ↗
- 1998
Rejection expectancies operate as a self-fulfilling prophecy: in daily-diary and observational studies of couples, high rejection sensitivity predicted conflict processes that eroded relationships, and couples with a high-rejection-sensitive woman were far more likely to have broken up a year later (44% vs 15%). The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy in Close Relationships: Rejection Sensitivity and Rejection by Romantic Partners ↗