EVIDENCE_BOARD

The Feedback Dodge

THE HIDDEN RULE

“If I say it directly, I risk the relationship — so I hint, delay, or frame it as a question.” Zenger & Folkman (2020) found that new leaders consistently rank giving direct, critical feedback as the behavior they avoid most — not because they lack words, but because they conflate being liked with being effective. The dodge feels like kindness. The recipient gets vague signals instead of a clear fix — and the problem compounds until the feedback arrives as a verdict, not a conversation.

INSTANCES (7)

“I avoid giving direct feedback”“Saying it will damage our relationship”“I’ll wait until it’s really necessary to say something”“I’ll just redo it myself instead of pointing it out”“I’ll save this for the performance review”“I need three compliments before I can say the one correction”“Maybe they’ll notice the pattern without me saying anything”

RESEARCH FINDINGS

EVIDENCE

The Science of New-Manager Anxiety: Why the Promotion Doesn't Feel Earned

"I got promoted because I'm good at the work, so I'll just keep doing the work, better, from the front." It sounds like a plan. Research on the transition into management tells a harder story: roughly

MECHANISMS

Authority-Legitimacy Anxiety

The felt gap between holding a manager's formal authority and feeling entitled to use it — most acute when the promotion comes from inside the same te

Approval-Feedback Freeze

The pattern where a new manager's need to be liked overrides their responsibility to correct: hard feedback gets diluted into vague praise or withheld

External Self-Awareness Blind Spot

The tendency for gaining power to make people worse, not better, at accurately reading how they come across to others — leaving new managers confident

RESEARCHERS

Herminia Ibarra Tasha Eurich Jack Zenger

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“I avoid giving direct feedback”

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