SCRIPT CHECK · 60 SECONDS
Five quick questions show how often it appears, how believable it feels, and what it makes you avoid. You’ll get one private next step.
This is not a diagnosis and there is no pass or fail. It measures the current frequency, credibility, and behavioral cost of “They were just being polite”, including the private rule underneath it: If someone liked me, they would have followed up by now. Their failure to reach out proves their politeness was hollow. My job is to avoid being the needy one who reveals they cared more.
QUIET
“They were just being polite” appears, but it rarely gets the final say. Keep this line available for higher-pressure moments: “The gap between how much they liked the conversation and how much I think they liked it is predictably large.”
PRESENT
“They were just being polite” wins some small decisions before you catch it. Your useful interruption is: “I'm interpreting one phrase across weeks of silence instead of judging the conversation by what actually happened in it.”
ACTIVE
“They were just being polite” is shaping action often enough to deserve a deliberate counterexample. Start privately and concretely: Write down the exact phrase they used and the details of what you both talked about. Read it back without the weeks of silence added. Notice what was actually said, separate from what you've decided it means now.
DOMINANT
Right now, “They were just being polite” is steering many of the moments you measured. That is a pattern reading, not a diagnosis or character verdict. Begin with one reversible receipt: Write down the exact phrase they used and the details of what you both talked about. Read it back without the weeks of silence added. Notice what was actually said, separate from what you've decided it means now.