SCRIPT CHECK · 60 SECONDS
Five quick questions show how often it appears, how believable it feels, and what it makes you avoid. You’ll get one private next step.
This is not a diagnosis and there is no pass or fail. It measures the current frequency, credibility, and behavioral cost of “Rejecting sex makes me a bad partner”, including the private rule underneath it: If I say no to sex, I am refusing the person I promised to love, and that refusal is a form of harm they have to absorb. A good partner doesn't protect their own boundary; a good partner swallows their limits to keep the other person safe…
QUIET
“Rejecting sex makes me a bad partner” appears, but it rarely gets the final say. Keep this line available for higher-pressure moments: “I want us both to touch each other without keeping score. That's what I actually want to fix.”
PRESENT
“Rejecting sex makes me a bad partner” wins some small decisions before you catch it. Your useful interruption is: “The distance between us isn't because I said no—it's because we're both scared about what touch means now.”
ACTIVE
“Rejecting sex makes me a bad partner” is shaping action often enough to deserve a deliberate counterexample. Start privately and concretely: Sit with your partner for five minutes without talking. Notice if they reach for you and what you feel in your body when they do. Don't move toward them or away. Just observe the feeling underneath the urge to protect or apologize.
DOMINANT
Right now, “Rejecting sex makes me a bad partner” is steering many of the moments you measured. That is a pattern reading, not a diagnosis or character verdict. Begin with one reversible receipt: Sit with your partner for five minutes without talking. Notice if they reach for you and what you feel in your body when they do. Don't move toward them or away. Just observe the feeling underneath the urge to protect or apologize.