The Science of Breakups and Divorce: Why the End of a Relationship Isn't the End of You

TEST_YOURSELF · How well do you know this science?

1. 01 In Slotter, Gardner and Finkel's studies (2010), what uniquely predicted emotional distress after a breakup?

   How long the relationship had lastedReduced self-concept clarity — no longer knowing clearly who you areWho initiated the breakupWhether the ex started a new relationship first

   Across their studies, breakups both changed the content of the self-concept and reduced its clarity — and the reduced clarity uniquely predicted post-breakup emotional distress, beyond other aspects of the breakup such as rejection. source ↗

2. 02 In large panel studies of divorce (Mancini, Bonanno & Clark, 2011), what was the most common life-satisfaction trajectory?

   A sharp, lasting drop that never recoversA steep drop followed by years of slow recoveryStable life satisfaction — the majority barely movedA large, permanent increase in happiness for everyone

   Using latent growth mixture modeling on national panel data, the most prevalent divorce trajectory was stable life satisfaction — roughly seven in ten people. Chronic decline was a minority pattern, mirroring Bonanno's resilience findings in bereavement. source ↗

3. 03 When Eastwick and colleagues (2008) compared people's predictions of breakup distress with what they actually felt, what did they find?

   People substantially overestimated how distressed they would bePeople underestimated the pain — it was far worse than predictedPredictions were almost perfectly accurateOnly the person who was left overestimated their distress

   Following students in relationships over time, forecasts made before a breakup predicted substantially more distress than participants actually reported once the breakup happened — a classic affective forecasting error, aimed at romantic loss. source ↗

4. 04 What did Rego, Arantes and Magalhães (2018) find about time, effort and money already invested in a relationship?

   Past investment makes people more satisfied with the relationshipPast investment pushes people to stay in unhappy relationships — a sunk cost effectInvestment only matters when both partners invested equallyPeople ignore past investment entirely when deciding whether to leave

   In experimental scenarios, money, effort and time already invested increased the likelihood of staying in an unhappy relationship — the same sunk cost effect first documented in economic decisions by Arkes and Blumer, running inside relationship decisions. source ↗

5. 05 What did Brumbaugh and Fraley's studies of rebound relationships (2015) actually find?

   Rebound relationships reliably fail within a yearPeople who wait longest between relationships adjust bestPeople in new relationships showed more confidence and more resolution over the ex — and starting sooner tracked with better psychological healthRebounds only work for people who initiated the breakup

   In one of the first empirical investigations of rebounds, people in new relationships were more confident in their desirability and had more resolution over the ex-partner, and shorter gaps between relationships were associated with greater psychological and relational health — the opposite of the folk rule. source ↗