SCRIPT CHECK · 60 SECONDS
Five quick questions show how often it appears, how believable it feels, and what it makes you avoid. You’ll get one private next step.
This is not a diagnosis and there is no pass or fail. It measures the current frequency, credibility, and behavioral cost of “They never reach out first anymore”, including the private rule underneath it: If I'm always the one reaching out, it proves they don't care as much as I do. Withdrawing is the only honest response—it's the only way to know if this friendship is real.
QUIET
“They never reach out first anymore” appears, but it rarely gets the final say. Keep this line available for higher-pressure moments: “They stopped texting first because they don't know what weeknight looks like for me now—not because they stopped caring.”
PRESENT
“They never reach out first anymore” wins some small decisions before you catch it. Your useful interruption is: “Reaching out first is not weakness. It's the cost of a schedule asymmetry, not evidence of a care asymmetry.”
ACTIVE
“They never reach out first anymore” is shaping action often enough to deserve a deliberate counterexample. Start privately and concretely: Without sending anything, write out three reasons your quietest friend might hesitate to text you first. Make it specific to what you know about their schedule or fears. Don't guess—notice what you actually know.
DOMINANT
Right now, “They never reach out first anymore” is steering many of the moments you measured. That is a pattern reading, not a diagnosis or character verdict. Begin with one reversible receipt: Without sending anything, write out three reasons your quietest friend might hesitate to text you first. Make it specific to what you know about their schedule or fears. Don't guess—notice what you actually know.