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The Trying Takeover
“We used to be partners. Now we're a project.” Schmidt et al. (2012) documented that trying to conceive strains relationships in specific, predictable ways: sex becomes procedural, partners diverge in how they process the emotional weight, and communication about the process deteriorates over time. The goal colonizes the relationship — and the relationship becomes invisible.
RECOGNITION SIGNS
- 01
Sex is scheduled, timed, and logged. You can't remember the last time it wasn't.
- 02
Your partner is handling this differently than you are — and that gap feels like abandonment, not just difference.
- 03
You've talked about fertility plans, doctor appointments, and cycle tracking for months. You cannot remember the last conversation that was just about you two.
THOUGHT PATTERNS
THE SCIENCE BEHIND IT
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“Trying has taken over our entire relationship”
Start this exact wipe in the app →RELATED CONTENT
SCRIPTS
- When Fertility Plans Consume Your Partnership
- When Your Partner Processes Trying Differently
- When Sex Becomes Scheduled: Reclaiming Intimacy During Fertility
- If We’re Not Sharing Problems, We’re Not Close: What Keeps the Loop Going
- If I Had Tried Harder, We'd Still Be Together
- Rejecting Sex Doesn't Make You a Bad Partner
- Our friendship can't survive different lives: when friendship drifts with life stages
- I have to pick a side | When love feels like defection
SCIENCE
- The Science of Trying to Conceive: Why the Grief, the Envy, and the Fights Aren't a Character Flaw
- The Science of Sexless Relationships: Why Silence Compounds the Distance
- The Science of One-Sided Friendships: Why Half Your Friend List Doesn't Match Theirs
- The Science of a Partner Who Won't Defend You: What Couples Research Actually Shows
QUIZZES
Self-check: When Fertility Plans Consume Your PartnershipSelf-check: When Your Partner Processes Trying DifferentlySelf-check: When Sex Becomes Scheduled: Reclaiming Intimacy During FertilitySelf-check: Rejecting Sex Doesn't Make You a Bad PartnerSelf-check: Our friendship can't survive different lives: when friendship drifts with life stagesSelf-check: They’re closer to each other than to me: when a friendship feels like replacement