WIPE_SCRIPTS

The Science of Trying to Conceive: Why the Grief, the Envy, and the Fights Aren't a Character Flaw

14 scripts this research explains — Trying to conceive turns a private hope into a monthly pass/fail test, and the data says the toll is real, not dramatics

“Something is wrong with me — not medically wrong, personally wrong.” Domar et al. (1992) documented that the majority of women experiencing infertility frame it as a fundamental body betrayal, with depression rates equivalent to a cancer diagnosis. The script converts a medical reality with documented causes and rates into a verdict about who you are as a person.

The Body Failure Verdict

“Everyone around me gets pregnant easily — and I'm jealous, which makes me a terrible person.” Greil et al. (2010) found TTC individuals show heightened negative affect in response to pregnancy announcements at significantly higher rates than matched controls. The jealousy of pregnant friends and strangers is a documented grief response. It is not a character flaw. It is what grief does when it has nowhere else to go.

The Comparison Trap

“We used to be partners. Now we're a project.” Schmidt et al. (2012) documented that trying to conceive strains relationships in specific, predictable ways: sex becomes procedural, partners diverge in how they process the emotional weight, and communication about the process deteriorates over time. The goal colonizes the relationship — and the relationship becomes invisible.

The Trying Takeover

View full research file ↗All wipe scripts