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RESEARCHERS

The Science of Breakups and Divorce: Why the End of a Relationship Isn't the End of You

3 the researchers behind it — The cultural script says a breakup or divorce wrecks you: the years were wasted, the pain will last forever, and whoever moves on quickly is broken. T

Villanova University

Erica B. Slotter

Known for:Showing that breakups reduce self-concept clarity, and that this loss of clarity — not just the loss of the partner — drives post-breakup distress

Key findings

  1. 2010

    Across three studies — including a daily diary study of students whose relationships ended — breakups changed the content of the self-concept and reduced self-concept clarity, and reduced clarity uniquely predicted post-breakup emotional distress. ↗

  2. 2014

    After a relationship ends, people are more likely to reject self-aspects their ex-partner had been influential in creating — but effort invested in maintaining an attribute predicts keeping it, regardless of where it came from. The self is renegotiated, not erased. ↗

Monmouth University

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.

Known for:Applying self-expansion theory to relationship endings — including evidence that leaving a low-quality relationship is followed by self-rediscovery and growth

Key findings

  1. 2006

    The more a relationship had expanded the self, the more the working self-concept contracted after it ended — even controlling for pre-dissolution closeness. The size of the identity hit tracks what the relationship had added to who you were. ↗

  2. 2007

    Among people whose relationships had recently ended, leaving a relationship low in self-expansion was followed by growth — more rediscovery of the self, less loss of self, and more positive emotions such as relief, confidence and energy. ↗

University of Bern

Pasqualina Perrig-Chiello

Known for:Studies of adaptation to divorce after long-term marriages, showing most people adapt well and identifying what actually separates those who struggle

Key findings

  1. 2015

    Among 308 people who divorced after an average of 25 years of marriage, latent profile analysis found five adaptation groups — and the two well-adapted groups (resilients, 29%; average copers, 49%) covered 78% of the sample. Serious difficulty was concentrated in three small groups. ↗

  2. 2015

    What separated the adaptation groups was personality, time since separation, having a new relationship, and financial situation. Age, gender and length of the marriage played a marginal role — and satisfaction with the former marriage and who initiated the divorce were not relevant. ↗

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