RESEARCH_FILE
Eli J. Finkel
Northwestern University
Known for:Large-scale reviews of online dating and studies of initial romantic attraction
SEE THE PRACTICE
Turn a thought this research explains into one clear move.
THE THOUGHT
“Still single at my age means something's wrong with me”
YOUR RECORDED RESPONSE
“Single is a status. The 'something's wrong with me' explanation is a script I absorbed—not a finding.”
ONE PRIVATE MOVE
Write down three rejections from the past year and next to each one, write the actual reason the other person gave (or likely had). Then write what you added to it. Notice the gap. Keep it private.
Key findings
- 2012
Online dating differs fundamentally from offline dating in access, communication and matching — but the claim that proprietary matching algorithms produce superior romantic outcomes lacks scientific validity, and browsing profiles can reduce partners to searchable attributes. Online Dating: A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Psychological Science ↗
- 2008
Ideal-partner preferences stated in the abstract do not predict attraction to real people: in speed-dating data, participants' pre-event preferences for attractiveness or earning prospects bore no relation to which live partners actually drew their romantic interest. Sex Differences in Mate Preferences Revisited: Do People Know What They Initially Desire in a Romantic Partner? ↗