When this happens, how much does it change what you do next: You start monitoring her face, her tone, and the room, so you can brace before the next comment lands.

It does not change my next move

SCRIPT CHECK · 60 SECONDS

“Every comment she makes is a dig at me”

See what this thought is changing.

Five quick questions show how often it appears, how believable it feels, and what it makes you avoid. You’ll get one private next step.

5 questions · about 1 minute · no account needed

What this self-check measures

This is not a diagnosis and there is no pass or fail. It measures the current frequency, credibility, and behavioral cost of “Every comment she makes is a dig at me”, including the private rule underneath it: The hidden rule says you have to decode every comment fast, because if you miss the insult, you’ll look foolish, stay exposed, or lose your place at the table. That makes you listen for attack first and meaning second.

See all result bands

QUIET

Quiet signal

“Every comment she makes is a dig at me” appears, but it rarely gets the final say. Keep this line available for higher-pressure moments: “I heard the words. I don’t have to add a jab.”

PRESENT

Present in the background

“Every comment she makes is a dig at me” wins some small decisions before you catch it. Your useful interruption is: “This might be clumsy, not hostile.”

ACTIVE

Active pattern

“Every comment she makes is a dig at me” is shaping action often enough to deserve a deliberate counterexample. Start privately and concretely: Open your notes app and copy the exact comment that stuck with you. Under it, write two plain alternatives that do not accuse her of anything, then close the note without rereading it.

DOMINANT

Getting the final word

Right now, “Every comment she makes is a dig at me” is steering many of the moments you measured. That is a pattern reading, not a diagnosis or character verdict. Begin with one reversible receipt: Open your notes app and copy the exact comment that stuck with you. Under it, write two plain alternatives that do not accuse her of anything, then close the note without rereading it.