RESEARCH_FILE
Kristina Coop Gordon
University of Tennessee, Knoxville
Known for:Reframing recovery from infidelity as recovery from interpersonal trauma, with Donald Baucom and Douglas Snyder
SEE THE PRACTICE
Turn a thought this research explains into one clear move.
THE THOUGHT
“Neither staying nor leaving feels survivable”
YOUR RECORDED RESPONSE
“The time I spent happened. Staying or going doesn't change that. Only the next decision does.”
ONE PRIVATE MOVE
Spend five minutes naming what you actually want from the next year—not what staying or leaving would mean, just what daily life would need to contain. Write three specific things. Don't share it.
Key findings
- 2004
An integrative treatment for affair recovery, tested in a replicated case-study design with six couples, conceptualizes the aftermath of an affair as analogous to interpersonal trauma rather than an ordinary marital conflict to be resolved with an apology. An Integrative Intervention for Promoting Recovery from Extramarital Affairs ↗
- 2004
Getting Past the Affair lays out a three-stage recovery process — dealing with the impact, finding meaning, moving on — and frames symptoms like intrusive thoughts and hypervigilance as expected trauma responses, not signs of weakness or failure to forgive. Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On ↗