RESEARCH_FILE
Emily Nagoski
Smith College
Known for:Science communicator and researcher who synthesized the Dual Control Model for a general audience in Come As You Are (2015), reframing low desire as context-dependent rather than a fixed deficit, and distinguishing spontaneous from responsive desire to explain why waiting for spontaneous desire disadvantages many partners
SEE THE PRACTICE
Turn a thought this research explains into one clear move.
THE THOUGHT
“They don't desire me anymore”
YOUR RECORDED RESPONSE
“Desire discrepancy is a scheduling and communication problem, not a verdict on my body.”
ONE PRIVATE MOVE
Write down one moment you interpreted as rejection, then list one alternative explanation unrelated to attraction. Repeat three times without telling them.
Key findings
- 2015
In Come As You Are, Nagoski synthesized Janssen and Bancroft's Dual Control Model for a general audience, introducing the accelerator/brakes framework to explain how context — including stress, shame, relationship conflict, and body image concerns — activates sexual inhibition independently of attraction. She formalized the distinction between spontaneous desire (arising without prior stimulation) and responsive desire (emerging in response to context), arguing that both are normal and that cultural expectations of spontaneous desire pathologize responsive desire patterns. Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life ↗